guess this is the only place where i can shout out all my complaints....other than complaining to d'.

can't believe what happened last night. nice one aunty.

听到你两句"你喜欢就好"根本还摸不着脑袋,电话就挂断了。我妈会在九点半结束他的麻将局，让我过去载她吗？不明。

接着妈妈打回来，淡淡地说自己会坐阿姨的车回来。回来又是一幅死鱼脸。说话没好气。

我忍不住问了。也爆发了。

so how did all these happen? i don't think i can even trace it back.

So my mom hurt her back and brought natalie to my grandma's to stay. My aunty helped to look after nat. All along she has showered her with a lot of care. everyone does actually. So there has always been this issue of me & d' unable to see natalie because my mom brought her to aunty's place and we are not aware of until we called my mom up. and also how relatives of MY SIDE request we let her stay there or bring her here, in order to cheer my uncle up when he's down.

So yes, to me as a mother, i have my husband upset because of all this but we are definitely appreciative of them willing to look after natalie when we need the help. so it has been months...

So we decided to bring her back on tuesday night for wednesday deepavali holiday as D's relatives were coming over to see her and they seldom get to see her. Aunty & mom said why not we don't bring her back for the weekend as they are all going to return on sunday and just let natalie stay for another weekend and spend time with my grandma & uncle (but they see her every alternate weekend..) I said no and perhaps jokingly said "but this one is my daughter leh". but yes, she IS my daughter and why should i let her stay over the weekend when i need time to bond with her myself???

we gave in and said we will bring her back on Saturday afternoon after my gynae appointment. So here comes the issue. On saturday morning on my way to gynae, my godma called and said she has brought natalie and the whole lot for breakfast and would like to bring her out in the afternoon, hoping i will not pick her up so soon. Fine. since Godma needs to bond with her too, i said we will call her again in late afternoon to check where they are and she kept repeating we should not be too early. okay change of our plans.

she called me again at 4pm and said they were in takashimaya and having a lot of fun but natalie took her nap so she want us to pick nat after both d' & 1 have gone for dinner. FWHAT?? yes. i had my husband shooting a glare over at me. of course no, we were suppose to bring natalie to join father in law for dinner..... so i told my godma d' is going for reservist and we had to have dinner with dad. WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN SOOOOO MUCH JUST TO PICK UP MY DAUGHTER????? IDK!!!!!!

i said d' is not going to be happy and godma said let her talk to d' instead. d' was firm in his tone and then after a few lines, he threw the phone on the bed and asked me to settle it. :(((

when i finally said we will pick her up at 6pm, godma didn't sound so pleased either.

tell me. WHAT THE FUCK??!

So we went over, everything was fine, Nat was having fun, we bidded goodbye to her granduncle, grandaunty (i thanked her for taking care of nat these 2 weeks), great grandma and we left. I promised to bring her back there next weekend, saying nothing about bringing her back just the next day when we pick mum up.

Then came Sunday when we were suppose to pick my mom up, called up my grandma's to check if mom will be on time, 2 auntys came to pick the phone but did not even get to speak to my mom. Aunty said "uncle is missing natalie so much, you bring her up to let him see for a while" but no, dad was around and we have decided to let nat stay with them in our house while we go over to just pick my mom. yes, that's when i got my 你喜欢就好 X 2. and the END of our phone conversation. WTF?!!?!

so i had to swallow that nonsense down? yes intended to but my mom's horrible tone and expression made me unable to!

so during our thrashing out, she said i threw her face by saying that "but she is my daughter" few days back and that made my aunty upset. FWAHHHHHHH. i lost it. so who will care about how i feel as a parent who has to explain and plead just to get my daughter back by my side? she said i have let people feel bad but i seriously think they are not, because they are still asking us to accede to ridiculous requests and i think they will continue to do so. found myself hiding in my 'fav' corner crying at midnight a while later.

how's it now? mom still showing her displeasure, we're not talking. she behaves so close to my sis and speaks to her in a nice tone while giving me the cold shoulder.

So i should be happy when people love my child? Yes i am. I know she is blessed. But i can't possibly be happy when people are giving me all sorts of reasons to stop me from bringing her home or seeing her. Thanks for the nice clothes and the toys. I should feel sad when my daughter stops being loved and no one wants to play with her? Yes i probably will but i can play with her if that happens.

Natalie is not as close to me as she is to my mom definitely. But she acknowledges me, kisses me on my forehead, calls me repeatedly when d' & i are with her and my mom is not around. I need the time with her because when others are around, she tends to play with them and not want my presence as much.

I AM TRULY VERY UPSET...

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